Newcastle United: second floor, going down

On Sunday Newcastle United – arguably one of the biggest clubs in English football – were relegated to the Championship after sixteen years of PL football, including six seasons of UEFA Cup football and two jaunts in the Champions’ League. If they do not come straight back up – and with the laughable situation at the top of the club and the woeful set of players who wear the shirt there is very little chance of their doing so – they should be worried.

Just weeks before Newcastle’s relegation, three former PL clubs were relegated from the Championship to the third tier of English football, continuing a worrying trend of top-flight clubs becoming third-class clubs in the blinking of an eye. Norwich, remember spent four seasons in the PL and played in the UEFA Cup, while Southampton and Charlton spent thirteen and eight seasons at the top respectively.

Bigger clubs than these three have come a cropper too. Leeds United spent twelve seasons in the PL with two seasons in the CL and five in the UEFA Cup, Manchester City eleven seasons, Sheffield Wednesday and Leicester City eight apiece (with one and two seasons in the UEFA Cup respectively), Nottingham Forest five (with one UEFA Cup season) and QPR four. So far the only one of these teams to return to the top division is Manchester City.

It’s not all pessimism though – Nottingham Forest were the team that took the longest to climb back out of the third tier, doing so after four years, but QPR spent just three seasons down there while Sheffield Wednesday went up after two seasons and Manchester City and Leicester did it in only one. Leeds will hope for some better luck in their third season in the third tier after two years of play-off heartbreak. At least it can be said that there is a definite split between 6th in Division Two upwards and 7th downwards.

Leeds perhaps are a case apart, and their rise and fall have been well documented in recent years. In spite of the financial controversy surrounding clubs like Southampton and QPR, it could not be claimed that any of the clubs above have been in the same situation as Leeds. However, one thing which does link all these clubs is the lack of coherence in the policy of choosing and keeping managers.

Since October 2006 Norwich have had five managers, Charlton have had four managers in the last three years and this century just about everyone has had a go at St Mary’s, including otherwise successful managers such as Gordon Strachan and Harry Redknapp.

With reference to the other clubs that fell from grace, it was the same situation. From August 1993 to their return to the top flight, Manchester City enjoyed the expertise of nine managers, including the likes of Peter Reid and Steve Coppell. From the sacking of Trevor Francis in May 1995 onwards Sheffield Wednesday have had fourteen managers, including men like David Pleat, Ron Atkinson and Paul Jewell. QPR have had ten managers so far this century.

Between 1896 and November 1994 Leicester City had twenty-six managers; since then they have had twenty more in fifteen years, including Martin O’Neill (1 League Cup, top-half finishes every season and two seasons in Europe). Nottingham Forest have had as many managers in the PL era as they had in the previous 100 years. And Leicester and QPR have had to contend with changes in ownership too.

Now let’s look at Newcastle United. Numerous permutations of ownership in the last decade. Three different chairmen in two years. Four managers this season alone. And as Shay Given remarked when he left the club, the back four has had more changes than the axe that killed Anne Boleyn.

In a sense it could be said that teams generally bounce when they hit the ground; West Brom, Birmingham City and Sunderlandnil are clear examples. The drop is so sudden for some clubs that they just need to drop a little further before they bounce back up. They just need a little longer to sort themselves out before climbing out of their problems.

However, the situation in which Newcastle United find themselves is frightening to say the least, and only a radical change at a fundamental level will enable the club to turn itself round. Either that or a spell in Division Two.

The strength of Frank Lampard

I’ve never met Frank Lampard. As with any other famous person, people look at Lampard on the television and judge him from afar. Some people love him, others hate him. For some it’s a question of colours, while others are able to see past the shirt and see, well, the bloke underneath.

I am no different from anyone else who follows football in that I also hold opinions on the players. I wasn’t at all impressed with Lampard the footballer in the 2006 World Cup, for example; on the other hand I felt a tremendous surge of affection for the man when he broke down after dedicating his goal to his late mother.

On the 24th April a London DJ called James O’Brien decided to judge Lampard for allegedly abandoning his children to a poorer lifestyle, calling him “weak” and “scum”. Lampard responded to the DJ live on the show, and the conversation was replayed time and again on various websites.

During the conversation O’Brien mentioned the “nature of the job” – but it isn’t the nature of his job to insult people, and it is the nature of his job to check facts and give the right to reply before calling somebody names. He also stated that “sixty million people can’t ring Frank Lampard” – indeed they can’t, but he could, and if the people can’t then all the more reason to check the facts first in order to avoid misleading the listeners.

O’Brien also stated that he would fight “tooth and flipping nail” so as not to allow his family to be split up – I have no reason to doubt that he would, but that doesn’t alter the fact that some couples separate and even divorce. I’m sure those couples – including the Lampards –also fight to keep their family together, but it isn’t always possible as any mature person will understand.

Many of the news websites that carried the story described the conversation as an “outburst”, Lampard as “furious” and the situation as being one in which the player “lost his cool” – but hearing the conversation I would say that he went nowhere near the red mist that has been described in the press. There was no ranting and raving, no raised voices or swearwords. He was calm and articulated his feelings well.

For what it is worth – and Frank Lampard needn’t give a damn what I think about anything – the man behaved with maturity and dignity, and as I am as guilty as the next person of judging from afar, I have to say Lampard has gone up in my estimation.

Like I said, I’ve never met Frank Lampard. I’ve never met James O’Brien either, but the difference is that I’ve heard of Lampard. Perhaps that’s the point – now O’Brien has had his fifteen minutes of fame.

Bring on the new rivalry

So, now the dust has settled on those Champions’ League semi-finals – it seems like yesterday that the draw was made and we were all excited about the prospect of four stunning matches; the impression that time is passing too fast is too vivid to ignore – and it is time to comment on the most intriguing aspect of the games.

Which referee?

I was referring to the comments made by Ferguson and Wenger before the first leg of their tie. Here’s a quote from Arsène: “I believe we have a better relationship now.” Here’s one from Sir Alex: “Arsène has always kept his principles the same and I think that’s great credit to him.”

What?

This is starting to sound like one of those American films where two curmudgeonly auld wans find themselves stuck in the same room at the home and spend two hours of celluloid trying to out-grump each other before finally, touchingly, begrudgingly breaking into a smile because they’ve finally cottoned on to the fact that nobody gives a flying twat anyway. Say, Clint and Morgan and some young thing who’s the granddaughter of one of them. And lots of pithy one-liners leading up to the anticlimactic climax where one of them dies and the other admits that we’re all only human anyway.

Have Ferguson and Wenger finally learned to grudgingly respect each other? Have they finally reached their dotage? If so, it takes half the fun out of the Premier League. Nothing interesting happens in the world of football on a Thursday or a Friday – no, the UEFA Cup is not interesting – so what better way to spice up the weekend than the latest back and forth of poisoned darts between two managers who apparently hate each other?

Bring on the new rivalries. But which ones? Wolves have made it back up at last, just in time for The Dour One to glimpse Keano running down the back stairs and into the Championship at Ipswich. Alex McLeish and Martin O’Neill have the chance to renew their former Old Firm rivalry, but there’s no evidence they hate each other. If Burnley make it up Owen Coyle will have the chance to take on David Moyes, but again there’s no evidence that they have anything but the utmost respect for each other.

Neil Warnock is still in the Championship with Palace; Alan Pardew is nowhere to be seen. Jose Mourinho probably won’t come back until there is a big enough vacancy. Of course, Arsenal haven’t won anything for four years, they were humiliated by United in the CL semi-final and the pressure is on Wenger. Is Arsenal big enough for Mourinho? If so, that might bring a bit of much-needed spice back to the Premier League.